If you have read this blog or have explored this website at any length, you will have seen our offer of Relationship Coaching. There has been a lot of confusion about this term and the nature of coaching. I’d like the chance to unpack and explain the process a little more thoroughly.
Sometimes, the best way to begin is by explaining what something is NOT, before looking at what something IS.
Coaching is NOT:
- Marriage Counseling – We do not go deep into each person’s past, relationship with their mother, or bad behaviors. Counseling can be extremely helpful in many situations, so we do not reject therapy as a valid method of healing. However, coaching involves viewing the relationship through a different lens than the psychological one.
- Directing – We will never say that you should divorce, suck it up, change jobs, or even to take out the garbage more often. We do not believe in telling you to do anything. It’s your relationship, and, ultimately, you will have to do the work. We can’t simply tell you what you need to do “to fix it”. Isn’t that much more satisfying than being just handed a simplistic, one-size-fits-all answer to your unique relationship?
- Antagonistic – Coaching is not about taking sides. We don’t believe that “sides” are healthy in the first place. It is all about looking for those key ingredients that made the two of you fall in love in the first place. We want to set aside the wedges between you to get to the heart of your love and connection.
- Negative – We focus only on the positive. We point out what is great about you. We want you to see yourself for the true person you are. That person gets buried in a lot of day to day garbage, lies, and failures. We want to remind you and your loved one of the incredible gift you are! We aren’t going to fix you. You don’t need fixing. Instead, we want to make you more YOU!
- A Hail Mary – Coaching is not the last, desperate attempt to save your marriage. In fact, we get a lot of very healthy, stable people as clients. Coaching is helpful anytime. It is preventative care, like a dental checkup or an oil change for your car. Coaching is not designed to save you from going over the cliff. We are looking to keep you away from the edge of the cliff. However, if you feel desperate, we can still help. Often things are not as catastrophic as we believe. Sometimes, just having someone help you clear away the clutter can bring a brand new hope and purpose to your relationship. I’m saying that coaching is not something that requires hitting “rock bottom”. It’s always about simply taking steps to bring your relationship to a new level.
In my next post, I will spend some time explaining more thoroughly what Coaching IS, so make sure you read that one!
In the meantime, we offer Coaching for all kinds of relationships: Individuals seeking more connection in their lives; Couples desiring to grow in intimacy; and Businesses looking for strong community and team cohesion for greater success. If you are interested in Coaching, click on the “Coaching” tab above, or Contact Us for more information. You’ll be glad you did!
